O lado triste de quando emigras e ninguém te diz

Quando és inicialmente confrontado com a ideia de emigrar, das duas uma: ou sabes que é temporário e que eventualmente voltas para o teu País ou então vais com a ideia de “vamos ver no que dá”, sabendo perfeitamente que a possibilidade de te instalares permanentemente no estrangeiro é real.

A forma como estas duas possibilidades são abordadas tem um grande peso na forma como te relacionas com os teus amigos. Não digo família, porque tradicionalmente nós Portugueses somos bastante chegados à família e isto não acontece. 

No meu caso, emigrei com a segunda ideia mencionada acima. Vim para Inglaterra sabendo perfeitamente que a ideia de regressar a Portugal era bastante diminuta. No inicio foi complicado, admito. As saudades de casa e da comida custavam mas acima de tudo fazia-me falta o conforto psicológico que é saber que estava na minha zona de conforto. 

Perdi tudo isso a partir do momento em que o avião descolou. Deixei de pertencer a Portugal mas na verdade também não pertencia a Inglaterra. Fiquei quase como órfã e não consigo evitar sentir-me assim mesmo que pouca gente o compreenda. 

A realidade inicial era que os meus amigos metiam posts no meu Facebook, comentavam as minhas fotos a dizer que tinham saudades e para eu voltar; quando eu ia a Lisboa faziam questão de me ver e as conversas mantinham-se inalteradas.

Depois, sem eu perceber muito bem como, tudo isso mudou. Os comentários nas fotos passaram a ser apenas um Like ocasional, as mensagens passaram a ser recebidas com semanas de intervalo.

Quando emigras apercebes-te que começas a perder aniversários, baby showers e nascimentos mas vês tudo isso acontecer através do écran de um computador. Perdes casamentos porque um convite nunca chegou. Porque naquele momento, a tua amizade já não é importante nem forte o suficiente para festejar um evento que (supostamente) acontece uma vez na vida. É-te dito que foi preciso fazer escolhas e tu manténs a postura mas por dentro ficas na merda porque sabes que se fosse ao contrário, nao haveria sequer escolha possivel sobre a presença de A ou B.

Não passas duma memória distante prestes a desaparecer da mente daqueles em quem tu ainda pensas quase diariamente. Porque afinal, foste tu que te foste embora.

Tu continuas num País que nao é o teu. O teu coração mantém-se em Lisboa e em Lisboa, a vida continua sem ti. 

Os teus amigos continuam a fazer jantaradas e almoçaradas, continuam com o dia a dia e com planos para o fim de semana, vida essa da qual tu já nao fazes parte. Continuas a testemunhar as amizades que se mantêm e começas a observar que há pessoas novas nessas fotos que tu não sabes quem é nem nunca ouviste falar.

Quando finalmente, sim FINALMENTE estás de férias e sentes que finalmente vais poder respirar de novo porque estás em casa, fazes de tudo para estar com os teus amigos e mostrar que a amizade se mantem. Tens coisas que queres partilhar e queres saber as novidades. Entristece-te quando eles pouco ou nada tentam porque o diariamente continua e é complicado planear coisas com 3 ou 4 meses de antecedência.

Mas tu precisas desses 3 ou 4 meses meses para conseguires um voo com um preço mais acessível e porque precisas marcar ferias no trabalho. Gostavas de um pouco mais de compreensão mas ao final do dia foste tu que te foste embora.

Vai chegar o dia em que as mensagens que já tão raramente acontecem, vão cessar.

Vai chegar o dia em que vais estar de férias mas tu própria já não vais enviar mensagens de grupo a avisar que estás por perto e que adoravas ver aquelas pessoas que fazem o teu coração ficar quentinho. Porque mais uma rejeição daqueles com quem cresceste vai doer e já custa a dor que sentes diariamente num País que não é teu.

Vai chegar o dia em que tu há muito que és uma memória distante e que vais ter que aceitar a nova realidade em que te encontras.

Vai chegar o dia em que vais ter que aceitar que és de nacionalidade e criação Portuguesa mas que a cada dia que passa começas a ser menos e menos uma emigrante e cada vez te misturas mais com a cultura Britânica. O sotaque já não soa Americano porque aprendeste Inglês a ver filmes; pedes desculpa e obrigada 40 vezes por dia. Sabes que definitivamente algo mudou em ti quando ficas solenemente irritada com a falta de cortesia de algumas pessoas em situações mundanas como a ausência de um acenar de mão quando cedes passagem.

Vai chegar o dia em que aqueles com quem cresceste vão ser uma memória distante porque para atenuar a dor e não largares tudo aquilo que tanto lutaste num País que não é teu, não tens escolha.

E para deixares de te sentir órfão, tens que fazer uma escolha. E a escolha apesar de difícil, e aquela que te vai manter no rumo que escolheste para ti, para a tua vida e para os teus. Se estás no mesmo barco que eu, força! Porque para a frente é que é caminho.

Mortgage Part 1

After two years of no letters, I’m now writing two days in a row. Let’s see if I can keep up with regular posts. As I wrote yesterday, I promised that I would write in relation to the part-time I got recently as I am saving money to buy a house.

Firstly, it’s important to state that buying a house doesn’t come cheap in the UK, especially in Bristol. Only last year, the house prices have risen a ridiculous 6.7%, meaning that Bristol is just behind London and Cambridge when it comes to increases in house prices. This means that the average price of a house is now around £220,000.00 (yes, two hundred and twenty thousand pounds for your average 2 bedroom house. I know, trust me, it kills me too.).

One of the problems with this? The initial deposit banks require you to have when you’re looking to take out a mortgage is rarely less than 10% of the value of the property. So, even if you are looking to buy a property worth £200k, you’ll still need to have £20k in cash to put down immediately.

Another problem with this? Wages don’t rise 6% per annum, which makes it very complicated for people to save the necessary funds in order to give their 10% deposit. Just out of curiosity, the latest figures from the ONS (Office for National Statistics) dated early 2016, show an average wage growth of 2% per annum on weekly earners and obviously, the BoE (Bank of England) monitors this closely for signs of inflation.

But back to mortgages as I struggle to understand why would anyone be so fascinated with these figures as much as I do! Most of the people who are now buying a property are either buying it off from their parents with a lower yield (ie their parents have a lower rate of return by selling it to their son/daughter than they would if they were to sell it in the market), allowing them to get a mortgage with a much more substantial lower deposit and also secure a lower interest rate as they are technically getting a bargain. If they don’t keep up with the re-payments, the house gets repossessed by the lender who can then sell it at a lower price than market price in order to arrange a quick sale, but a price high enough to make a profit out of it. Same as it is everywhere. The higher the risk, the greater the interest rate you have to pay to a lender.

If your parents don’t have a second property you can buy off from, but have savings then it’s “Mum and Dad’s Bank” entering the scene. Parents either give or lend to their children the 10% they need to purchase a house. Some Inheritance Tax advice is sought here as there may be tax implications, but I’m not going anywhere near that subject here.

If you’re like me and don’t fall under any of the two categories I just described, you proceed to get a second job – no matter how shit it is – and try to save as much as you can. You know your effort will be well worth it in the end.

There are Government schemes for savers if you are a first time buyer which can help you get on the house ladder; unfortunately I’m not eligible as I committed the big, huge and massive mistake of buying a house in Lisbon a few years ago and because of that I am now faced with this challenge: save enough money for a house deposit with no help at all.

There are a lot of variables one needs to take in consideration whilst contemplating the possibility of buying a property. Working in my industry I am probably biased but… Location, location, location!

A property is an asset which has a value attached to it and the location is something that will either make a property increase in value over time or conversely, decrease it – which in that case you’ll have what we call “negative equity”. It doesn’t mean you’re in debt, but you are left with an asset (and paying for it - your mortgage), but no it’s no longer worth the price you initially paid for. Like cars. Cars always go down in value. So making the right choice in relation the location of a property is a big factor to take in consideration.

A funny thing about the UK system when it comes down to renting a property (or owning it actually!) is the council tax. The council tax is what we refer in Portugal as IMI (Imposto Municipal sobre Imoveis) with the “slightly” difference that it’s paid by the tenant, not the home owner. The amount of council tax you pay is directly connected to:

11.       How many people live in the household;

22.       The value of the property.

The council tax bill is the citizens’ way of helping to pay for local services like emergency services, rubbish collections, libraries, schools, street lights, etc.

But I am deviating from what I wanted to write in the first place… My part-time job!

I’ll have to leave it for another time. Next post. I promise. 

Working in the UK - my story

The last time I wrote on this blog was just over two years ago. So much has happened since then. So many changes, so many people have crossed my path that left as quickly as they entered. Not for any specific reason, only because that’s the way life sometimes works.

I have been in the UK nearly three years now and every time I think about it I get slightly stunned because it doesn’t feel like three years at all. In some ways it feels longer and in others, it feels less.

When I last wrote I was working for an insurance company. I hated it. Absolutely hated it. I didn’t like the job and it was miles away from my house; considering I didn’t had a car at the time, took me absolute ages to get there and get back. However, the people I worked with were absolutely amazing and I am still quite close with a few of them. We went from being colleagues to being actual friends.

From there – via my manager at the time – I had the chance to leave that job and get back to my industry – financial services. He knew how unhappy I was working in Insurance and when he was told about a project closer to home and within my expertise, he put my name forward and I was invited to attend in interview. I got the job but unfortunately that project was relocated to London just a few months later and as I wasn’t keen on leaving Bristol (like everyone else in my team), we were all made redundant.

From there I proceed to work for one of the biggest banks in the world where I stayed for 1 year and a half, before leaving and join a SME (Small and Medium Enterprise) that specialises in a very niche area of financial services. I did it for two reasons:

1.       Working for a Bank that big, your work gets unnoticed, there is no way you can make a difference (I tried, it didn’t end well) and there were too many egos around from people whose only purpose in life is to feed their ego by mistreating staff members. I can’t cope with that and I was getting more depressed by the day;

2.       Working for that SME would give me the rare opportunity of working for a niche market where there is not a great deal of information around and therefore I would be able to enhance my skills and gain that knowledge.

Unfortunately – as I came to realise – people with big egos and small minds can show up no matter how big or small a firm is and that SME ended up being a disappointment. I worked countless hours without asking for overtime because I genuinely felt that the point was to take pride in my work ethics and ensuring the clients would receive the best outcome possible considering the amount of fees charged by the firm. How stupid was I? I know but hey, you live and you learn. On the other hand, there’s nothing quite like coming home, laying your head on your pillow and feeling good about yourself. Knowing that you’ve done for someone what you would like for someone do for you (if it was the other way around) is priceless. There’s no price tag on that. It’s your own pride.

But anyway, having work ethics doesn’t take you far if you work with big egos and small minds and I left that company 6 months after joining. Worth mentioning that people with big egos were not even a hand full. Nonetheless, the detrimental effect that people like that can cause on the long term, is substantial.

I am currently working for another SME in the same industry as the previous (with some differences especially in relation to the type and nature of investments the client can obtain but I’m not going to get into the technical details and financial jargon as there is no point) and I am so happy. I work with people who are all committed with the client, who are all committed in working together; building the firm together and most importantly, they care about their staff members.

Never ever I was verbally abused here, never ever was I ever made feel that my opinion and ideas are useless and that the effort I put in my work is unnoticed. On the contrary, just a couple of months after joining I completed two sets of training for staff, I have a career plan designed by my line manager and the way he conducts the team subsequently has a positive effect throughout the business. All departments work together with the same goal in mind: the customer.

Everything happens for a reason. And I feel so blessed to be where I am now.

There’s a well-known expression that goes like this “Had to kiss a lot of frogs before finding my prince charming”; well, I believe the same could be applicable to my current work status.

I sometimes think how my career was boosted in less than three years. It’s light years away from what it could ever be boosted in Portugal unless I knew person, X, Y or Z. Well, not weird really. Here, if you work hard, you will be rewarded – unless you work with people with big egos and small minds! Then you’ll probably face a lot of challenges and brick walls and doors slamming in your face. I would advise you to leave, if you’re in that situation. It’s a waste of your dedication and energy.

The UK (in relation to work) it’s a bit like America (land of the free and land of opportunities) but in a European style. Probably a bit classier. Oh and with tea. An awful lot of tea!

At this point in time, I am saving to buy a house. I have a part-time on the weekends as in order to get a mortgage in the UK, you need – in average – about 10% of the value of the house in cash to give as a deposit. I started my first shift this weekend and oh boy, do I have stories already! But I’ll leave those stories for another day J